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Mere days in this new abode and I was already unimpressed. For starters, it was cold. I would expect cold from the outside, since for long as I have lived it's been cold, but inside? Unheard-of. Also, I do not care for this weird smell the place has. It's spicy and sweet at the same time? Who invented such a concept.
But worst of all, there's a big, stinky, creature here. Its fur may be as dark as mine, but the similarities stop there. Its loud, massive, mobile, and... affectionate. I clung to my new owner's chest like a leech when I saw it hurling over, she just entered her house, and it was already crying for her attention. I thought to myself, "Wow, it probably doesn't have a good reason for all of these theatrics."
And I was correct.
It wasn't hungry, or in pain, apparently it just does that for fun, whenever it wants to.
Thankfully that thing was not able to enter my new room, which to its credit, smelt normal, and was warmer due to this miraculous metal hole in the floor.
But then, right after I had my first night here, I was faced with the thing yet again. It was sitting this time, but gazing at me with the same idiotic-narrow-dull-blue eyes. So instead of socializing, I perched myself against the wall and didn't move.
And did I let myself be picked up to go see it? Not a chance. I scurried around like my little life depended on it - admittedly, I don't believe this big "Otto" thing could even try getting to me, it looked stupid and sloppy, but if I acted afraid maybe they would take that as a hint and leave me alone.
And of course, after a while of them cacking at me in a demeaning manor as I narrowly avoided the creature, they took the hint, and removed me from the premises. I caught a look of mere confusion in its eyes. Typical.
...
As the days go by I don't see the beast, much at all, and whenever I feel him draw near I stamp my little feet to scare him back. My owners - 5 of them - all love me. They even somehow psychically knew of my temperature complaints and removed the cold from the rest of the house, which I know has happened because whenever my door is opened, I'm no longer blown away by a gust of chilled air.
The creature I sense was banished to the upstairs, I can smell its stench from here and hear its pitter patter from above me. Oh well, maybe my owners will love me enough one day to catch on, and boot it out.
Anyways, dear diary, I shall be off to go chow down on some "treat sticks". Until next time...
- Bingie The Conqueror